Dear Cleavey: Is My Child Just Having Big Feelings? Or Is She the Second Coming of Vlad the Impaler?

Dear Frustrated Mama,

We hear you! It's hard to tell the difference between a developmentally normal little one, and a sadistic Romanian military leader who brutally tortured his foes in the 15th century, isn't it!?

Here's an easy test to figure out what's going on with your feisty little one:

Step One

Give her the green bowl instead of the red bowl.

Step Two

Observe.

Does she throw the bowl at you, spit in your face, and kick the dog?

Or does she stick a metal pole up your rectum until it exits your mouth before feasting on a loaf of bread dipped in your blood?

Step Three

Ask yourself: Am I dead inside? Or am I dead outside?

If you're dead inside, she's a normal kid! If you're dead outside, she's Vlad, mama!

Remember, this is just a phase… that you might live to see end.

xo,

Cleavey